Sunday, May 28, 2006

I don't want to write this blog anymore.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Coming back from work today (Dilli Haat after work) I felt like driving till the end of the world. Wished the 6.5 Km long road connecting Dwarka to South Delhi never comes to an end, felt like taking the NH8 to jaipur and from there to some where else. I just wanted to go on and on and on... Me and my thoughts on the run.

Dino called ES while she was sitting with me in the car, he was discussing the trip to Gharwal. I asked him yesterday if they can postpone it till the last week coz I would like to go, he said "talk to Amit he is organising, not me." Another chapter closed all it took to close it was just a turn of leaf.

Why can't things be left at vague....why does it have to end? All stories must have climax and a The End, that's why.

I really wanna take those roads one of these days...

Some one asked me today if I was happy. I never ask this question to myself surprisingly the answer was quite simple. Yes I am. Any body who reads my open heart here on this blog would think I am one of the most unhappy. Well it just occured to me its actually so easy to be happy in life, all you need is just a little tact. I am happy being unhappy. I love my loneliness and my pain, they make me a special person, they are my muses, my source of inspiritation for my writing...... they make my life worth living, some day they will make my life worth reading......... Given a chance I would not want to change anything of life. Really I have no regrets, I believe everything that I do or have done is unique and special in its own way. I stand out and that's what matters to me. No fun being the happy go lucky girl next door......... They laugh at me,
think I am fooling myself, may be i am but let it be, I am happy thise way.......... They think I live a life full of false presumptions, I see world through my eyes only.... so what if that makes me feel good about the world and about myself, that serves the purpose.........

I am not talking sense. Stop here. End post.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I take pride in having arranged the XIth Delhi Blogger's Meet with Bill, Gareth and Julian all the way from BBC UK. The event was a gala event, one of the most significant in Delhi Blogger's community. I think for the first time The indian blogging community got such a projection at the world level. Post my interview with bbc they have linked the Delhi Bribe Rates Blog on the main BBC page. Since then the blog has been getting a tremendous traffic inflow from US and UK. I can't ever fully thank Ankur enough for associating me with this Birbe delhi Blog. I owe it to him. When I said that to him he said but had you not arranged and attended the meet it wouldn't have got the hype it got. True. We both kinda have complimented each other.

Mean while the BBC Radio show Digital Planet went on air today with Me, Twilight Fairy, the professional Blogger Amit Agarwal, Snigdha aka Encounter Specialist, Mayabhushan and Monica talking to Gareth the presenter of the show. The event was attended by around 30 Bloggers in Delhi.

The entire edition of Tuesday's Digital Planet show can be downloaded as a MP3 File of 11MB size from here

The highlight of both the event and the show was this culture of blogger's meeting up in person. A culture very unique amongst internet users in the Indian Metro and also amongst bloggers accross the globe. As Gareth said the blogger's were trapped in their respective homes and then one fine day they decided to meet and actually quite like it.

Next highlight is Bill's understanding of the Indian Blogging community. Inspite of being the blogging expert of UK he wansn't here as an expert, rather he was here to have some cultural exchange with young and vibrant people in indian blogging community and this is what he says after he met us, "It’s too easy to have a western technocratic view of the world, and having to defend my views in front of this articulate, argumentative and skilled group of practitioners was great exercise." One of the major difference that emerged out of the discussion was that we, Indian bloggers, don't, as of now use the blog as a medium for net activism, as much as they do in US or UK. We have much more variety of bloggers writing about hundreds of things from being personal to public. One of the reason behind this could be (a) that we have other effective media to exercise our freedom of expression, (b) We are other wise also talking about politics and rights issues so blogging need not be the only medium to inititate movement.

Amit Agarwal was undoubtedly another interesting part in the meet. He is a an IITian who quit his job to take up full time blogging. Makes some couple of thousands of dollars per month, "more than what he could have earned in an MNC", he says, just by bloggin.

The show digital planet also featured, the election commission of India whihc has been since long using electronic voting machines.

More later......

Saturday, May 13, 2006

I happen to know this person through Yahoo Messenger who is married, is a father to a daughter, loves both of them truly but is looking for one night stands without having any strings attached. When asked why such weird desire he says coz he can't ask his wife to fulfill his fantasies.

I see a social problem in him. Sex is one of the biggest truth of nature after probably death. Nothing else is as certain as the desire and need for sex between humans, animals, plants and all other organisms. It comes so naturally to us that to try to fight with our sexual urges and curb them down would be an act extremely against the order of nature. Good sex they say can keep a persons body and mind healthy and just as lack of vitamis and minerals affects our health, non availibility of a medium to satisfy our sexual urges also affects our mental and physical health. This is so because the sexual urge that we have is a part of the many systems that works in our body. We have been given these glands which would natually secrete hormones and when that happens our body reacts natually to it. This is all chemistry.

When two people get married, of all the things they promise, they also promise, whether directly or impliedly, to fulfill this most natural need of each other. But in India sex is such a taboo that a man who might be more sexually charged than his wife is actually ashamed of it.

In our culture even husband wives can't talk bout sex. Not only that, some times we have such stupid traditions making sex more and more a topic of shame and indecency. In joint families the bolted door to a couple's room is supposed to be opened up early morning before the elderly members of the family wakes up. They have to pretend they didn't do it last night. Particularly for the
bahu it is a matter of embarrassment if she is still with her husband behind closed doors when rest of the family has woken up.

Another weird habit is the hush hush tone we use when a woman is found to be expecting a baby. Why? Because the fact that she is expecting makes it evident that they did it...... duh.... Otherwise the people in the house were under the impression that the couple were just kidding themselves......... So we have these stupid cliched movie scenes where this wife is getting all red blushing to such extremity that I don't even know how to explain, while she break the news of her pregnancy to the family members and to top it all, to her own husband. I mean what on earth is there to be embarrassed of or blush...

This guy never fully told me what his fantasies are so I don't know how weird they are but whatever it is, I feel he shouldn't have any hesitations to ask for it from his wife. If she is ok with it, nothing can be better, if she isn't, they can talk about it, think over it, try to find some way out, may be see a therapist. But here we have him thinking its gonna be indecent on his part to talk about sex with his own wife and therefore indulging in adultery.

I have noticed this in some traditional bengali families that once the children are in their teen age and the parents are in mid 40s they cease to sleep together in the same room. It is considered indecent to give out this impression in front of the rest of the people in the house including the grown up kids, that the parents still enjoy their marital intercourse. How unnatural is that. I just don't get it.

I know this guy for more than 6-7 months now and yes our chat conversation did start when he popped up my PC with this proposal of his. He didnt want to talk about anything else, didn't even want to know anything about me or my life, just wanted an answer to his proposal in Yes or No. Being the smooth talker that I am, I managed to start talking and since then we been talking. And over time I found out he is actually a nice guy and not some pervert, is sensitive, caring, responsible, intelligent, loves his wife and would never want to hurt her...but then why?
Lemme ask this question to all of you here.... do you think this person is an one off case or do you think there are many such persons around...... just that they don't talk bout it honestly........?? And do you have a sexual fantasy that you are embarrassed of?

Thursday, May 11, 2006

With a spectacular Charm and a brilliant smile he is every woman's dream come true and yet he isn't the one for you...or may be you aint the one for him.

A little loud...some times rude too...but at least no pretentions...that's the first impression that will probably be built by him on you, a man whose every move is not guided by how much attention he can seek from the gorgeous girl in view. A man who can be friend with anybody and everybody in just a hello, a man who belongs to a group and yet keeps his identity aloof, someone who listens to everyone, tries to help, but seldom talks about himslef, and yet keeps asserting he is the GOD.

Long after he has gone his smile still remains fresh in your mind. Every time you call him, you are greeted with a wide smile which you can actually hear over the phone, and a long hiiiiii, he makes you feel good that you called. He is very busy but he tries to keep in touch with the large number of friends he has... he allots his time accordingly, some of his freinds keep calling him and complaining "You never call" he says "Sorry, I should call, will call" and then tries to manage his time again.

He is someone who you know is gonna be a friend forever but he is some one who you can not keep to yourself for too long... he is someone who belongs to the whole world and yet doesn't belongs to anyone... he is always on the run, talks and walks fast, like a butterfly you just can't catch him. He comes like a flash of light, brightening up your ngiht, but you get so little of him and you always long for more.

He doesn't really know what love is, yet he is looking for that eternal love and cause he learnt it over the years that it doesnt exists, he will do all he can to deny that he is looking for it....

If you just change all the *He* to *She* you'll get me........
One small tiny step at a time...everything seems to be blurred.....

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The XIth DBM went great. Here is keeping a track of all the write ups and pics of the event...till the the time the official blog is updated... I can update the blog since I have the password now, unless of course they have changed it... but the original creator of that blog has issues with me updating his I won't. Apparently its better not to update it at all than let me do the so very needful.

The latest edition of Digital Planet is a special edition on Delhi the Indian Capital. We, Delhi bloggers were expecting the meet will be covered by Julian and his team in this edition and admittedly there is a slight disappointment when it didnt so happen. But then they have put a pic of our meet on the program and well, let's say a photograph is worth a million words. Besides of course Bill himself has extensively blogged about his first visit to India, his visit to hardware market Nehru Place, the blog meet., the old city etc. He also have so generously named me in his blog and also linked me. I am so happyyyyy.

Twilight Fairy
Solzaire's first step in Delhi blogging Community
Great pics taken by Amit Aggarwal's
Paavani's Account
Amit Verma
Varun's accout
Ashish Kumar
Asit Ranjan Mishra
Mayank Chauhan

For the pics of the DBM visit our Flickr Account.
Delhi Blogger's Group on Flickr

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

XIth Delhi Blogger's Meet

Time again for the Delhi Blogger's Meet and this time I made it a real special one. It all started with just some 4-5 lines of mail written by Julian Siddle to me...I took it up from there. Told him when he comes we would have a blogger's meet and here it goes.

We would have Julian, Gareth Mitchell and Bill Thompson, all the way from BBC UK, with us.

Julian is the producer of BBC World Service Technology programme Digital Planet. Gareth is the presenter of the same show. They would be here to shoot a special edition of the program, on India. Culture of Blogs in India is an area Julian would be particularly looking at and would be trying to find answers to questions like "Do you have a particular view on the use or effectiveness of your blogs? What do you think about the use of IT in India or its potential? The country is often seen as being in the grip of a technological boom, is this the case from your experience?"

Bill is one of Britain's leading authorities on blogging and Net activism and advises the EU. He has a regular column on the BBC's website. Bill would be here to share with us his expertise over the subject that connects all of us here...Blogging and also Net activism. Inviting all the Blogger's in and around of Delhi to be a part of this special Meet.

Date: Saturday, 6th May 2006
Venue : The Amphitheater, India Habitat Center, Lodhi Road, New Delhi
Time: 6pm
RSVP : Me @ the Comments section here
All you old and new, fast and furious, slow and steady, arose and awakened, dreaming and dormant bloggers out there...

Please confirm your participation in advance.