Saturday, July 23, 2005

where is my truth

‘This is my truth’ was the theme of my blog. I started it coz there was, and still is, these times when I wanted to talk a lot about my life but had no one to listen to...I thought I would share the bizarre truth of my life, which I think are stranger than fictions, but where is the truth? What is my truth? What more is it than another sappy old story of love lost and heart break. Who doesn't have these stories and then what the hell do I know about other's story that I go about thinking my story is strange. Truth. Truth is I don't have a story. Just some scattered scribbled sheets. ‘Is the glass half empty or half full’ they ask. Truth is there is no glass, just a heap of crackled earthen pots, scattered petals, twisted pencil skins, few old photographs, few old wrapping papers, few old crumpled movie tickets with the name of the movie goers written on the back of it by me, some office vouchers, certain visions when i close my eyes, certain sounds I suddenly hear, certain smell I suddenly find familiar, some broken dreams, some sleepless nights, some premeditated coincidences, some long phone calls and the subsequent phone bills…all passing by. The train is moving fast. But I wish it was moving faster and faster and faster. So that all the bits and pieces of my eventful life passes by in such lightening speed that I don’t even have the time to recollect them and frame in my blog.

I have not been writing these days…may be because I don’t anymore feel like sharing. Or may be because I am not able to concentrate and be stable on a particular state of mind. Sometimes when you have lots to say…silence speaks.
On this journey called life I always carry my baggage with me but I never open my bags and see what’s in there.

Nothing is constant in my life except a constant process of beginning and ending…a great start and a bad or not so bad ending. I have always longed for a company, not necessarily a romantic involvement just a companionship. “wish good things could stay in my life for just a little longer, not for life, but at least for more than 10-15 days.”

It was already gone only I was yet to wake up...

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