Friday, December 23, 2005

Happy days and Merry times are here again, bringing along that same feel of solititude and melancholy. I hate this. Last time it was Diwali and before that Dussherah. Everytime these festivals are here people around me would ask me questions I don't like to answer. "What's your christmas plan, what's New Year plan?" 'Nothing'. I have to answer. To make it sound like more of a choice and less of a pathetic helplessness, to avoid all sort of sympathy, I came out with my own theory onf why we need not celebrate a festival I told people with a desperate refusal to be vulnerable to pain, "I don't celebrate a festival, I celebrate a cause...My celebration is not restricted to the Calander."

Christmas is here, I have 3 days of holidays, I could have made a weekend trip to somewhere nearby, but I need atleast 1 company. But I never find a company for doing the things I want to do...Last I walked alone was in the John Primer show. Before that it was the Hutch Delhi Run. Heard from somewhere that there is an offline meet, a Christmas bash of Ryze members. Ya I am a member of Ryze, I am a member of all such networks for 'seeking someone, whether desperately or not, singles'. Ok I know Ryze is a business Network and not a dating club, So? Tell me which single is not seeking someone... So last night I decided to go for the meet. And ever since I have decided my own line is coming back to haunt my mind again and again..."I was less lonely when I was alone." Why am I going there? Just to reaffirm my emptyness? Why do I like doing this to myself? I can sit at home and read something. I can finish the unfinished posts. Is it going to make me feel any better to go there alone and come back alone.

Loneliness Actually sucks...if you are reading it, just agreet with it. Don't leave a comment saying it doesn't sucks...

And Kreeti if you reading this don't think I am being a loner here and trying to sulk, I am not. I am going there alright, and be rest assured I would be wearing the flashiest smile on my face and the brightest spark in my eyes...
__________________________
The two never spoke
The silence never broke
but they fell in love...

these lines just came to mind yesterday...
___________________________

When two people with great flair for writing have their way at romance, what you have is excellent 'reads'. The exchange of letters between Elizabeth Barret Browning and Robert Browning are one of the best piece of writing...The story of the Browning couple is so fascinating too, in yer youth she sufferred from some disease and was bed ridden. She reached out to the world only through her poems. Robert Browning, 6 years younger to her, fell in love with her reading her poems...For years together they didn't meet and the love affair happened only through exchange of love letters... Finally she eloped and married Robert.

I have already put an example of couple of exchange of mails that I have had, which made a good read . Here is more...

Me:-
The ever so wild and crazy, the ever so passionate and weird, wish I could I have an
adventour with you, you could be my greatest challenge...

He:- (Original lines sent to me via sms)
What you call an adventour
is nothing more than a nightmare
Thats why I tell all the nightingales
not to fly towards the brigh glares

6 comments:

pradster13 said...

oho ..i had read this pehle....bhi....anyways u trying to bcom a poet cpl kya?

Rajesh Barnwal said...

I couldn’t have agreed more with your statement that loneliness actually sucks. But for me the really revealing truth happens to be your other statement which says: “I was less lonely when I was alone!” Now, I have got a topic to write about for my blog. Thank you, Sanju. Merry Christmas to you and to all of your blog readers!

Sanjukta said...

Thanks Rajesh, Merry Christmas to you too...

Anonymous said...

Hi Sanju,
Snigdha here. please chnage the black colour i can hardly ready anything, may be you can customise your page, that should help. Anyway, merry christmas and a very shubho notun bochor. Why are you sounding so depressed in this post? I dont know? you remind me of the poem Solitary Reaper. Any way, I do feel that sometimes you just want to be with yourself, and thats not being a loner thats jsut being fare to own self, giving time, and space to yourself is no selfishness and no aloofness ness and i dont think thats being a loner. Thats simply being yourself. Bye for now, actually, leem go thru the post again,

Slice Of Life said...

it is better to b lonly than to have bad company
ok,dont get angry...it is tough to be alone
uma

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